Struggles of an overindulgent mother

My daughter is the most amazing child. She is kind, sweet, intelligent, and is just the best little girl a mother could ask for. That is until she isn't. But is it really that she isn't or have I just set her up to fall from this very high pedestal in the sky. I know she lives her life with passion. She has passion for her dancing. She has passion for her friends. She has passion about life's injustices. However, she does not have passion for school. But then again, neither did I. I barely squeaked by in high school, didn't perform to my best ability in academic classes. I enjoyed the ride but didn't reach for higher goals or set myself up to be successful in the college arena. And I struggled and suffered and doubted and worried and second guessed myself all through my twenties. I could have achieved great things, reached amazing heights but I let myself down because of my self doubt. I don't want to see her go through that. I want her to be empowered. I want her to take life by the tail and swing it around according to her desires and goals. How do I tell her that? How do I help her become the woman that she is capable of being: no settling for less, taking what is given to her...

I wonder if I have made it too easy. She hasn't had to fight for her position. She was never forced to participate in activities that she did not want to engage in. Maybe I should have made the path a little rocky. However, divorce does create potholes and abrasions. Bruises, scabs and scars have been introduced in to her perceived "easy" life. Perhaps, her ability to navigate this highway of parental discord and appear to have an easy life is more telling than any other aspect observed. It really hasn't been a walk at Huntington Gardens, yet she has amazingly come out smelling like a rose. hmm...

As a parent, I want her to want to do better than myself and her father. I want her to see the possibilities open to her. No, she isn't into drugs. She is not defiant. She is not a promiscuous girl. But is it enough just to be good. Shouldn't she want to reach higher and farther? At what point do I step in and say, "Okay, this is the time. You have to step up to the game. Playing and settling is not enough".

Oh, to have the answers to this question. I chose not to be a friend but a parent. Yet, I seem to be struggling at putting a face to the name. Does being a parent mean enforcing a "grounding" or "restriction", taking away priviledges? Two years. That is all I have left to make an impact. The time goes so quickly and yet, right now, it seems to be painfully slow! Of course, that is typed with unconditional love and acceptance!

Ryan, (Taj Moon) our amazing Korean exchange student

Ryan arrived in Las Vegas on Tuesday, January 6th. Whitney, Tyler Jeremy (Whitney's boyfriend), and I went to Hal Smith Elementary to meet and pick up Ryan. He was very quiet Tuesday night. Pizza and soda was provided. Ryan ate very slowly and looked a little like a deer in headlights. Whitney was so excited to meet him and tried to talk with him without overwhelming him.

Once we went home, we showed him around the house and his bedroom. He called home and then settle in. He was very quiet and, I think, overwhelmed!

Ryan speak English very well. He can generally communicate his thoughts. He is very independent and such a wonderful child. I have already fallen in love with this little guy and know I will shed many tears when he leaves in two months.

Our goal is to expose him to any many activities, sites, and experiences that are uniquely American. Disneyland, the beach, the Strip, Hoover Dam, and Red Rock trips are on the agenda. Wish us luck and love!