Wishing for a small 85

Wow, 85 looks like such a wonderfully small group. The number is now up to 150 lovely little elementary students. My principal continues to chuckle as he passes me in the hallway while I deliver reminders to these drama stars. Maybe if I don't hand out reminders, then the numbers will dwindle. No, I would probably just have to field more phone calls. Not that I mind speaking with these exuberant parents, it is just that there are only so many hours in a day and so many days in a week.

I must give credit...There are four other teachers that have jumped on the "crazy drama cart" and are volunteering their time and talent. Thank goodness. I really cannot imagine how I would ever have managed to handle all of these children alone.

The response has been heartwarming. Children stop me in the hall daily, reminding me that they "saw" me in drama club. It's like being at the grocery store and being spotted by a student. They seems so surprised to "bump" into: like I am a real person or something crazy like that.

Thursday was the open house at the high school and so I was there to meet my daughter's teachers. The principal happily offered to let our "little" group use the theater for our performance in the spring. He seems genuinely pleased that we had started this group at our elementary school. I must say that I was take aback. Most responses that I have received from teachers and administrators alike is..."Have you lost your ........'n mind? Are you getting paid for this? NO? insane, that is what you must be!" So when this student-focus administrator smiled and said it was a great project, I could almost feel flowers popping out of my head and float up into the air! How's that for drama!!!!
Now, just to figure out what to do with them all next week....stay tuned!

Stop the bites!

I have a past blog about how I had bitten off more than I could chew!  And yet, here I am again.  Except this bite is turning out to be a HUGE bite: huge as in  85 students and still more signing up.  

You see, I started this performance club at my school.  I have been pushing to have a club at the school for the 5 years that I have been there.  Well, my principal finally agreed and I wrote a grant...hopefully it will be approved... and then I distributed a sign-up to all the 1-5 grade students then I sat back to see if there was any response.  

Did I say 85 yet?  and the deadline is not until Monday.  My sister asked what my expectations were from the start.  I guess I thought that about 40 students would sign up.  I have decided to keep a blog about this experience.  That way, at the end of the "experiment", I will be able to reflect on the experience and decide if I should question my sanity and see a therapist.  

So happy acting to me- everyone needs a little drama in their life.

Finished Finally

After what seems like a billion or so years, classes and dollars, I have proclaimed myself DONE with school. I now have a high school graduation degree, a B.S. in Elementary Education, a M.Ed in Educational Technology and now a M.Ed. in Leadership. I have spent the last 38 years in school in one form or another: as a young child, teenager, young adult, pregnant married lady, divorced single mom and recently a frustrated "sort of "old lady! Of course the "old" is a relative term-old as a student!
I have fulfilled the requirements of public education, taken 164 undergraduate credit hours, and 69 graduate credit hour and an additional 12 graduate hours to obtain my TSLE (teaching second language education) endorsement. That does not include all the training hours in MASE(math and science education) and FOSS(full option science set) and Success For All and.... Does it seems like I have been focusing on my temporal advancement? Well, yes, maybe but we are encouraged to learn as much as possible while journeying on this little planet of ours!
Many years ago, I received my personal compass and blessing that stated that I would be a teacher. It really said that. I went on my way and forgot all about it. Funny how those things turn out to be true. It also said that universities are great places to learn but that higher learning happens in those building on the top of the mountains....
I guess it is time to start focusing on those eternal lessons since I have proclaimed myself to be done with temporal education! So I must not really be finished. I sure hope that I get better benefits in my new course of learning. Do you think I can learn Spanish without actually taking a class????

Running Around With My Head Cut Off: Even a Chicken Has More Sense!

This week has been a test in how many different and creative ways I can over-extend myself and thereby, display erratic, unpredictable, and totally irrational behavior. It's not enough for me to be completing my M.Ed in Education, working on papers until all hours of the night and morning, attending Arts Night at the high school, taking my daughter to get her driving test, moving into another home, creating an exciting lesson about Argentina with handouts and treats for 160 second graders, but also accepting to teach the lesson on Sunday morning all within the same seven days. My delusion of being Wonder Woman has suffered irreparable damage. Not to mention that I have spent hours on the phone being transferred, rerouted, recorded on message machines, and missing calls because, not only did I get charged twice for my graduation garb (required to walk across the stage) but there was not even a record of my order. I can happily report that I did finally receive my supplies but am still waiting on the extra $200 that was so conveniently removed from my account. And since when does $75.00 fee mean the same thing as "We will waive the fee..."?
Luckily I was able to save some time by going through the drive-in window to pick up my prescription. Too bad over half the prescription was missing from the bottle when I opened it at home. Another call, put on hold, can you please come back to our store.... Wow, I sure am glad I took that time-saving measure.
Of course, by then, I was ornery, stressed, and needed to find an enjoyable distraction. This is when I tiredly pulled my exhausted self to the computer to read the newest blog of my favorite author. But, wait! What? Teachers are scoundrels and the cause of all the world's problems including but not limited to global warming and poverty. (No, it didn't really say this. It was just my rose-thorn colored glasses tinting my perspective!) Well, let me tell you, I wasn't going to take this abuse any more and I let those blog followers have it! Then I went to bed.....
...And woke up very early the next morning feeling like a putz! I had realized sometime during my fitful sleep that I had just spewed my venom on the blog page of a woman that I adore, admire, and think is one of the most creative thinkers and writers that I have ever had the privilege to know in my short embattled excuse for a life.
Cautiously and full of remorse, I went back to her blog and in a very feeble attempt, apologized for my attack. I still feel awful.
I then proceeded to prepare to teach my awe inspiring lesson at church. Talk about feeling like a complete and utter moron! My humble self came out from around the corner and kicked my self- righteous, prideful butt right off the cliff and made me land smack dabble on my knees. Can you say: REPENT, REPENT, REPENT....I sure can, now!
Of course, being the graceful, poised woman that I love and respect, she never even mentioned my appalling behavior and continued on with a lovely blog about solitude and Solitude: the mental state of being and a beautiful album she was asked to review.
I have learned from this experience that the danger of stretching oneself too thin is not the act of producing shoddy work and incomplete projects but in acting in a manner that is not consistent with one's own nature. I became an ogre, not only to strangers (those poor in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time victims) but to those people I respect and love. I have learned that sometimes, asking for help is not only helpful (duh) but imperative! So if you ever feel guilty for saying "No" just remember this horrid tale you have just encountered. Hopefully you will remember the woman who encountered even more guilt because she said "Yes" when she should have said "No".
Sorry, DeNae…

Hell has Snow

As everyone that is divorced and shares a child or children know, conversations with the ex can be strained at best. Fortunately, my ex is pretty reasonable and the post-marriage conflicts have been limited, not because we live in different states or only see each other at drop-off times. No, I excel at placing myself right in the fire. Why wait for trails to find me when I can circumvent fate and plunge directly into the flame? No, in my great wisdom, I tend to follow my ex, not really him, but more my daughter's father. You see, I got tired of driving two hours to drop off or pick up my little darling, not that I didn't enjoy the car time with her on drop off days. I moved about a mile from my daughter's father to make it convenient for her and myself. That way I also have access to her school, friends, and weekly activities. I, also, petitioned my district church leader to let me attend the ward in his area because she prefers to go there. Yes, we have a lovely time at church, sitting together on the same pew with our princess between us. You know that old saying: Love one another. I'm sure we are confusing some of the less informed members into thinking we are a happy little family. Maybe that is why I never seem to have a date or get asked out...go figure!
We share my daughter's time. One year, I get to be Disneyland mom and the next; he gets to be Disneyland dad. Flexibility has always been our motto along with "spare the rod and spoil the child". As rotten as my ex was as a husband, he is oppositely equal as a father. In other words, I don't think he can even reach the pedestal that he has put her on. Hmm....that pedestal looks remotely familiar...careful, it is quite a fall!
So, when he called me yesterday and asked if I had a few minutes to talk, I thought, "Oh, great, what did I do this time?" Of course, I said, "Sure, I have time. What is it you would like to talk about?"
He proceeded to tell me what a wonderful daughter we have and how he attributes that to me being such a wonderful mother....Wait! Back the truck up...What did you say?
Yes, it is the honest truth. He said that. And not only that, he went on to say that I have done a great job raising her and he really appreciated me. Wow!
I think I better go play the lotto or try MegaBucks! Obviously all the planets are aligned and God has opened the Heavens! It just doesn't get much better than this!

Struggles of an overindulgent mother

My daughter is the most amazing child. She is kind, sweet, intelligent, and is just the best little girl a mother could ask for. That is until she isn't. But is it really that she isn't or have I just set her up to fall from this very high pedestal in the sky. I know she lives her life with passion. She has passion for her dancing. She has passion for her friends. She has passion about life's injustices. However, she does not have passion for school. But then again, neither did I. I barely squeaked by in high school, didn't perform to my best ability in academic classes. I enjoyed the ride but didn't reach for higher goals or set myself up to be successful in the college arena. And I struggled and suffered and doubted and worried and second guessed myself all through my twenties. I could have achieved great things, reached amazing heights but I let myself down because of my self doubt. I don't want to see her go through that. I want her to be empowered. I want her to take life by the tail and swing it around according to her desires and goals. How do I tell her that? How do I help her become the woman that she is capable of being: no settling for less, taking what is given to her...

I wonder if I have made it too easy. She hasn't had to fight for her position. She was never forced to participate in activities that she did not want to engage in. Maybe I should have made the path a little rocky. However, divorce does create potholes and abrasions. Bruises, scabs and scars have been introduced in to her perceived "easy" life. Perhaps, her ability to navigate this highway of parental discord and appear to have an easy life is more telling than any other aspect observed. It really hasn't been a walk at Huntington Gardens, yet she has amazingly come out smelling like a rose. hmm...

As a parent, I want her to want to do better than myself and her father. I want her to see the possibilities open to her. No, she isn't into drugs. She is not defiant. She is not a promiscuous girl. But is it enough just to be good. Shouldn't she want to reach higher and farther? At what point do I step in and say, "Okay, this is the time. You have to step up to the game. Playing and settling is not enough".

Oh, to have the answers to this question. I chose not to be a friend but a parent. Yet, I seem to be struggling at putting a face to the name. Does being a parent mean enforcing a "grounding" or "restriction", taking away priviledges? Two years. That is all I have left to make an impact. The time goes so quickly and yet, right now, it seems to be painfully slow! Of course, that is typed with unconditional love and acceptance!

Ryan, (Taj Moon) our amazing Korean exchange student

Ryan arrived in Las Vegas on Tuesday, January 6th. Whitney, Tyler Jeremy (Whitney's boyfriend), and I went to Hal Smith Elementary to meet and pick up Ryan. He was very quiet Tuesday night. Pizza and soda was provided. Ryan ate very slowly and looked a little like a deer in headlights. Whitney was so excited to meet him and tried to talk with him without overwhelming him.

Once we went home, we showed him around the house and his bedroom. He called home and then settle in. He was very quiet and, I think, overwhelmed!

Ryan speak English very well. He can generally communicate his thoughts. He is very independent and such a wonderful child. I have already fallen in love with this little guy and know I will shed many tears when he leaves in two months.

Our goal is to expose him to any many activities, sites, and experiences that are uniquely American. Disneyland, the beach, the Strip, Hoover Dam, and Red Rock trips are on the agenda. Wish us luck and love!